Catchup Session

Hello Friends!

My-oh-my, I can't believe it's been a month since my last post! I apologize for being MIA for a bit, but with final exams, last minute wedding preparations and two weddings in one month... well, let's just say I've kept busy!

There has been an outpouring of love and well wishes from all of you which warmed my heart just as the wedding came around. Thank you all so much for your sweet messages! Everything was so wonderful on Saturday and I am proud to say that I am now a wife!

I will be sure to post more pictures from our incredible photographer, Gary Nevitt Jr., as soon as they are finished.

Lilliana and I both wore hair from Gemtress on the big day, and Mario at Salon Rispoli in Newark, DE styled us to the nines! All I asked was that he be sure we looked natural and felt comfortable (and like ourselves).

All of my bridesmaids and Kevin's and my mother had their hair styled at Salon Rispoli on Saturday and Lilliana and I were able to walk around and keep everyone laughing since our hair was styled and waiting for us!
I have some great blog posts in the works, so be sure to check back again next week! I have a full, behind-the-scenes look into our wedding with the makeup and hair tricks we used. Also, we have a response to some of the negativity that has been posted online regarding the approaches to hair loss.

Again, thank you all for your love and support as Kevin and I start our new life together!

Love,

Kayla

Tape, Adhesive or none- What's your preference?

Tape...glue...nothing- what's your preference?

     When wearing a hair piece, you have several options to feel secure. Most women, who have total hair loss and choose to wear a wig, opt for a piece they can tape down. You are probably thinking, Why?
     The answer is, security. Knowing the wig is taped down means it isn't going anywhere. But, it also provides flexibility. This means you can take the wig off at the end of the day, or after a few days, and it doesn't have to be a full-on, traumatic process.
     The Gemtress Firenze (my current "signature" piece) can easily be taped down. For a woman with Alopecia Areata, tape may not be the best option, though. My hair comes and goes, so the Firenze is a great choice for me- I can tape it down when my head is smooth, but it is fitted enough that I can (and often do) go without tape!
     When it comes to tape, you can definitely shop around. Ask your wig consultant for suggestions based upon the piece you've purchased, and your lifestyle. Some women prefer "wig tape" or "toupee tape" which is ideal for someone who prefers to remove their wig every day or every other day. This is often rather inexpensive, and is less sticky. Industrial strength tape from a craft store is a valuable option for someone with a smooth head because it offers a stronger hold with longer results. It is a little more painful to remove because of the bond, but I have heard it gets less and less painful each removal! Tape is an option for you to apply and remove yourself- without a professional.
     At the Miss America Pageant, I was so terrified of my wig flying off and into Joy Behar's face during the talent competition, that I asked Mario Rispoli to "bond" the wig to my head that night. This means that he used a custom fit piece, created perfectly for the shape of my head, and covered the inner cap with a liquid bond/glue so that I felt secure. Bonding/gluing is the perfect option for someone with Alopecia Totalis/Universalis or extensive hair loss that leaves your head smooth for periods of time. It is not ideal for a woman with Alopecia Areata or frequent regrowth. The reason being when the wig is ready to be removed it will be a much more painful process if it could potentially pull out new hair. Plus, new hair can loosen the bond.
     Bonding can last up to a few weeks depending on your level of activity. If you shower frequently and don't use a shower cap, the water can loosen the bond. If you exercise daily and sweat heavily, the perspiration will loosen the bond as well. I suggest using a shower cap and washing the hair every couple of days. Use as little product as possible in order to lessen the need for washing. And when exercising, consider using a sweat band right around the hairline of the wig to absorb as much sweat as possible. As long as the hair is human, you will be able to live just like the hair is your own! Sleep in your wig, wake up with it and so on!
      For those who wish to have complete flexibility- the ability to throw on and off your wig/s as you please- tape and bonding are not for you. I appreciate the moment when I get home after a long and exhausting day, and I throw my wig on the kitchen table. I appreciate leaving my wig on the passenger seat of my car before I enter the gym to workout. Tape and bonding are not a part of my everyday life. But, I love knowing that I have the choice!
      The Firenze, and all of the other pieces in the Gemtress line, fit my head well enough to not need tape or glue. And if they become stretched over time, Mario darts them and sews them to fit just like they did on day one- prolonging the span of the wigs life.
      However, if you opt for a bonding of some sort, you should know the best way to remove it! When the time comes to take it off, you can either revisit the salon and have it removed there. Or, you can use 100% rubbing alcohol and a q-tip as you gently rub along the hairline to remove the bond- pain-free!
     So, in your life, what do you prefer? What have you tried? Join the conversation and share your experiences on the Facebook Group, Kayla's Corner for Women and Kids with Hair Loss! Have a great week, and enjoy the beautiful weather!

Guest Blog: Melissa's Story

Hey everyone,

Below you will find the story of my friend, Melissa, who also has Alopecia. Her experiences are different than mine, which is why I thought they were perfect to share! Best of all, she has her eyebrows tattooed, which has been a hot topic lately that I have no experience with! She was kind enough to be so open, and has said she will answer any questions you may have on the Kayla's Corner Facebook Page! Just be sure to tag @Melissa Palmieri!

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 Melissa- Living with Alopecia

When I was in the sixth grade I noticed that I didn’t have any eyelashes. I didn’t think much about it at the time because I didn’t know any better if it was normal or not to not have them. By my freshman year in high school my eyelashes had grown back. One day during tennis practice I had pulled my hair back and my friend asked me why I had a bald spot, I said “I have no idea”. That night I went home and showed my mom. She then scheduled a doctor’s appointment at a well-known dermatologist in New York where I got diagnosed with Alopecia Areata. The doctor prescribed me Protopic cream that I applied twice a day to the bald spot. It grew back within a couple of months. I went 7 years without my Alopecia acting up. It wasn’t until January of 2011 when my Alopecia was triggered from Lymes Disease. I had completely lost all of my hair by the summer time including eyebrows and eyelashes as well.

I now have had Alopecia Universalis for over a year. Since last March I have invested in a ton of wigs; both synthetic and human hair. I purchased my human hair wigs from Hair in a Pinch located in Edison, New Jersey. I have nothing but great reviews for them. They provide one-on-one assistance to help you find the perfect wig for you. They also do wig alterations so that your wig is the perfect fit for whatever size and shape head you may have. I also have synthetic wigs as well which are great to have because some are heat friendly and are very affordable. I buy all of my synthetic wigs from a cosmetic store called Merle Norman. Again, another great place especially if you are looking for something more affordable because human hair wigs tend to be more expensive.

I recently just got my eyebrows tattooed since I do not have any eyebrows as well. Prior to tattooing my eyebrows I was using temporary eyebrow tattoos that I would purchase online from Headcovers.com, however putting them on everyday got tiresome after a year because they would only last for the day. While I was getting my nails done at Christie’s Nails; a local nail salon located in Manayunk (a small town in Philadelphia) she noticed how I didn’t have any eyebrows and told me how she tattoos eyebrows, eyeliner, lip-liner etc. She showed me pictures of prior clients she tattooed which all looked amazing. Christie, who is the owner of the nail salon and who tattooed my eyebrows discussed different shapes that would look well and then once we decided she then drew outlines of them with lip liner and then proceeded to tattoo them. To draw the outline of the eyebrows took about 30-45 minutes. Since they are permanent she wanted to make sure they were even and perfect. The tattooing then took about an hour and a half to 2 hours. I have to say it didn’t hurt for the first hour but after a while since I have sensitive skin it did start to burn because my skin was irritated. It was $350 which includes the first touch up as well which you get anywhere from 4-8 weeks after you first get them done. The healing process is just like any regular tattoo where they will scab after a few days and peel. After the first touch up they can last several years until another touch up is needed. I highly recommend Christie if you are interested in the tattooing route. I couldn’t be happier with my eyebrows. It is so nice to wake up in the mornings and not have to put them on everyday now. Above are pictures of myself with my tattooed eyebrows. I will post an updated picture once I get my first touch up so everyone can see the true color that they will be.

            I never thought how hard it could be to not have any hair and how something so little such as your eyebrows and eyelashes could make such a difference in appearance. Each day that has gone by has gotten easier for me. Without the support and dedication from my amazing family, friends, and boyfriend I wouldn’t be as confident as I am today.

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I love how much we actually have in common! Don't forget to visit the group Facebook page and post any questions you have for Melissa. She is the sweetest person with such a terrific outlook!

See you next week!

-Kayla

Does money play a factor in how you cope?

Hey everyone!

We've talked quite a lot about wigs, and their role in the way we all handle our hair loss. And we have talked about the different types of wigs and hair replacement options available. We've briefly noted the variety in treatments as well. But, rarely have we discussed the investment in each of these.

When I was younger, I chose to try cortisol injections for approximately six months. My mother researched to see if our medical insurance would provide any coverage for the treatments...
Our family has always been very financially conscious, and naturally the finances would play a role in whether or not I choose to try something new that isn't proven to help.

Thankfully, my mother researched and discovered that our medical insurance provided minimal coverage of the cortisol injections- so I though I should give them a try!

After quite a few rounds of treatment, and seeing quite a bit of growth- I knew we had made the right choice to try something new! But, when I ceased my treatment routine, the new hair fell out. It was then I knew that I didn't want to put forth the money constantly to go through that pain for the rest of my life.

And when I started searching for wigs, money was my second largest concern. First, was that the way look and feel natural- otherwise it wasn't worth any amount of money to me. Budget was such a large stressor that not only did my parents, friends, fiance', and in-laws-to-be chip in... But so did many of my Miss Delaware supporters like my local director/mentor, Laura Mattey (who introduced me to Mario!). It was quite a communal effort. Without so much support, I would not have been able to afford such a beautiful hair piece. But my experience is proof that anything is possible!

Every route of coping with your hair loss may involve money. Whether you choose to wear a wig, wear false eyelashes, seek medical treatment or homeopathic treatment, or even flying to a national conference to attend support groups and  informational sessions- all involve a financial commitment. Some more than others, of course- but, money nonetheless.

How does money play a role in the way you (and your loved ones) cope with your hair loss? Do you stray away from the more expensive options like Custom Fit European Hair Wigs? Do you jump at any opportunity that is within your budget- like fad diet changes, natural vitamins or boxed synthethic wigs?

Does money deter you from coping the way you would have hoped? Or do your finances help you by showing you there are always new doors to be opened?

I would love to hear what you think! Please join the Facebook Group- Kayla's Corner for Women & Kids with Hair Loss
or tweet your thoughts to @MissDelaware10

Sending love and best wishes to you!
-Kayla

How has money played a role in the way you cope with your hair loss?

Tips for the Salon Owners

Not sure how to make your hair replacement clients more comfortable?

Here are some tips directly from women with hair loss

1. Privacy- Have the ability to create a separate room for your hair replacement consultations? Privacy is the #1 concern of women when they visit a salon for the first time. If your salon acts as a full service salon, then women are less likely to feel comfortable in front of the rest of your clients. Don't have the space for a separate room? Consider offering a before-opening or after-closing appointment to your clients if they aren't comfortable. Or, set aside a specific time for these appointments when other appointments won't be taken. Remember, there is no way to avoid taking the hair on and off in the salon during a consultation, so please be sure to warn them of this for their appointment.
2. Options- not only in design but also make and most importantly, cost. The shops who offer bonding and non bonding options as well as human and synthetic hair are my preferences for referalls. OnRite offers a large variety of wigs for women of all ages, and children. They even have hair replacement options for men that are the most natural I've ever seen. A great tip is to have several options on site in case a woman wants to try something on during her appointment. Have a blonde, brunette, black and grey option. At least one long and short, one curly and one with bangs. Have at least one of the higher quality and one of the less expensive. And in my opinion, have one from the Gemtress line, and one from the Gem Kids line.
3. Comfort- Make the women as comfortable as possible. Be understanding. Be a listener. In many cases, you will play the role of friend/confidant/supporter beyond your duties as their stylist. This is likely a very difficult process for them emotionally. Some women come alone and need you to give them your honest opinion about what looks good, what they can afford, what they can care for, etc. There will come a point when you should worry less about the sale or the profit, and more about her comfortability. A comfortable and happy customer will come back for her second wig and provide referalls to friends. When clients bring in their wigs for repair or touch ups, offer them a separate area with snacks where they can wait, so they don't have to go out in public if they don't want to.
4. Patience- This could be their first time purchasing a wig. They may have a stack of medical bills waiting at home. For children, this could be very uncomfortable and way beyond their own maturity level to accept the changes they are going through. For a woman, this is a huge piece of what defines them as a woman. You should remember that you may not make a sale that day. I wasn't able to decide in one appointment. Wigs can be expensive, and they represent a great deal of change in a person's life. Aside from being understanding, you must be patient. Allow the client to go home and talk to their loved ones about the decision. Please don't pressure them. Just call them the next day to let them know you are thinking of them, and appreciated their trust for such an important time in their lives. If you don't hear back within two weeks after that call, try calling again to let them know you'd love to have them back and try on another option.

5. Be open to customization- a woman doesn't want to just feel like "Priscilla" or whatever the name of the styled wig is... she wants to feel like herself! Every client, including the ones who want hair replacement for style reasons unrelated to health and medicine, want to look their very best. I know that when I went to Salon Rispoli, I wanted my wig to look how my hair did before it fell out. Mario created a wig with high and low lights and then cut and styled it on my head. Because of that extra step, he made me feel like he really cared. Plus, I loved the finished product! Customization make take extra time, but it is worth offering! Ask you clients if they would like any color work done, or a certain hair style. Just because it is a wig, doesn't mean it should look like one!

6. Give back- Consider making a donation to a worthy foundation such as the  National Alopecia Areata Foundation, the Children's Alopecia Project, the American Cancer Society, and so on, for every hair replacement sale. If a woman sees that a local shop not only offers a great selection, but also gives back money to a cause close to her heart then she is more likely to choose you over another salon. Or, you could put a large portion of your proceeds from those sales into a scholarship fund for a future customer who cannot afford a wig.

**Also, consider offering other hair replacement options in your salon. Many women need hair extensions instead of wigs. Some want eyebrow pencils, eyebrow temporary tattoos, false eyelashes and so on. One stop shopping can relieve their stress and create a more trustworthy atmosphere!

Remember, when a customer is going through chemotherapy, their hair loss can be very sensitive to them. They are going through so much in their life and the last thing they should have to worry about is their hair- make the commitment to provide comfort and support. Help them feel like themselves again.

And remember- when a customer has Alopecia Areata/Totalis/Universalis, they may be dealing with it for the rest of their lives. The more comfortable you make them, and the lower your prices, the more likely they are to return! The average Alopecia patient goes through three wigs a year- if you treat them well, you may benefit in the long-term!

Have other tips? Leave a comment at Kayla's Corner for Women & Kids with Hair Loss! Looking for a trustworthy salon to meet your hair replacement needs? Visit Hairloss.com's provider directory!

Have a great week everyone!

Hugs from DC!
-Kayla

Sick Days Suck.

So, for the past few days I've had what might be the beginning of the flu or some sort of virus. I had a day in between where I thought the symptoms had subsided, but alas, they are back. Whenever I have these days where I feel like death, the icing on the cake is looking exactly as I feel.

If you, too, have lost your hair, you are probably well-accustomed to the random stares of people who assume you have cancer. For those of you readers who have undergone chemotherapy treatments, I can't imagine how you deal with those stares all the time... But for those of you with Alopecia of any sort, I am sure you just wish you could wear a sign sometimes that says, "I'm not sick." (or something of that nature)

Well today I decided to go ahead and attend my classes as usual even though I was vomitting throughout the night. I woke up with limited strength, not even feeling up to showering. So of course, I threw on a clean pair of sweatpants, brushed my teeth, and headed out the door leaving behind any eyeliner or wigs...

Honestly, we all have those days where the last thing we feel like doing is worrying about anything other than getting two feet out the door. And even though I keep most of my wigs styled on a mannequin, I just didn't feel like taking the moment to throw it on. So, off I went without hair or makeup...

Now I know I don't deserve a Nobel Peace Prize for this since I do this all the time, along with thousands of other women... But, when you aren't feeling so well- people can tell. So while on campus a woman came up to me and asked what kind of cancer I have...

It's been a while since I've been asked that question... But my hair has started to fall out again so I shaved it this weekend. And my face was stripped of color and life was probably draining from my eyes because of how I felt. I'm sure each of those played a factor. Over the past thirteen years, I've been asked quite a few times whether or not I have cancer. But, since it had been a while, it got me thinking!

I don't want you to think the moral of the story is to go out and get even more dolled up when you are under the weather- I just wanted to share a story that I am sure most of you ladies can relate to! We are all human, and we all have yucky off days where we simply feel like curling up under the covers and hibernating for a few days. And if you are like me and makeup and wigs feels like too much for those days, then more power to you :)

On a personal note- my temperature has leveled out and I kept down some soup for lunch, so I think I am on the road to recovery! :)

So let me ask you- how do you respond to those awful sick days? Do you typically push through and put on the eyeliner and your wig or do you go out as is and let people think what they want?

Leave your thoughts on Kayla's Corner of Facebook! And don't forget to follow me on twitter @MissDelaware10 or the rest of the crew @hairlossdotcom

Adult Q & A

Hey there everyone!

I decided it was about time to answer all of your questions in one, fun blog post! Over the past few years I have received emails and Facebook messages with some really great questions, and I figured, if one person is curious, others might be, too! Don't worry, I've left them anonymous.

Just a heads up- these are mostly adult-related questions, so wait for a later post to read the kids version of the Q&A :)

1. Should I workout in the gym with my wig on? What do I need to do?
   This is definitely up to you! I never workout with my wig on but I have danced with it on for several performances (including the Miss America Pageant!). If you do opt to wear your wig during a workout (and don't use and adhesive) I suggest you plan ahead and put some baby powder on your scalp to absorb extra moisture. Also, maybe consider using tape if you are afraid the wig could fall off during the commotion.
2. Has anyone ever accused you of trying to draw attention to yourself on the days you don't wear your wig?
   Never! But I have worried about that before, so I completely understand your thought. When one of my best friends got married she told me that I could come without my wig (since she loves my natural look!) but I was too afraid it would seem like I was trying to draw attention to myself. Most people don't over think things as much as we assume they do. Wear your wig whenever you see fit. If you don't feel like wearing it, your friends will applaud your confidence and strength for wanting to be without it that day.
3. I've had my wig for three years now, and keep trimming the ends. How do I know when enough is enough and I need to buy a new wig?
   I had my first wig for two years and Mario Rispoli kept trimming the ends for me until finally the length that I loved was gone. We decided it was time to donate the wig to a local women's cancer center when the hair was chin-length and the cap was stretched out. At that point, I decided it was time for a  new wig. I suggest you purchase a new wig as soon as you can (no urgency) and transition into the new one. That way your current wig is still wearable and your don't have to move on so quickly to a new style.
4. Is it wrong to not tell a guy about my hair loss when we first start dating?
   Of course not! No one expects you to share your complete medical rap sheet with them on the first date. But, for the sake of your future relationship, I suggest being as open and honest with him as you can. Maybe mention that you have (insert condition here) and see if he knows anything about it. This could be on your second, third, even fourth date. Then open the dialogue and see where it goes. Trust your instincts.
5. How should I keep my wig on during sex?
   I say, treat sex the same way you would exercise! If you prefer to tape your wig while in the gym, maybe you should in the bedroom, too. If your wig is well fitted and does not need any tape on a daily basis, then it should be just fine. Just know, things happen, and it could slip off. Consider looking into either a well-fit wig with the resistance strips structured in the cap to keep it from slipping. Otherwise, tape is the best (worry-free) option.
6. I bond my wig and it gets so uncomfortable and tacky in the heat- what should I do?
   You may be using too much adhesive. If you are using tape, this may be due to the quality of the product. A good trick is putting the tape a little further back so you can lift up the hairline and dry off any sweat. In the meantime, try a different product.
7. I get red bumps on the bald spots on my head- is this normal?
   Yes! Some people's skin is a little more sensitive than others. Give your scalp some time to breathe (from products and wigs). If you have been using the same kind of soap for ages, then it's safe to say you aren't allergic to it. But still there is a reason for the irritation. Your scalp is skin, just like the rest of your body's surface so be sure to gently wash it and moisturize when necessary. Use sensitive skin products and be gentle with it. Don't treat the bumps like pimples! If the bumps worsen or spread, make an appointment with a dermatologist.
8. I've had Alopecia Areata on my head for years, now I have no hair in my female area. Is this normal?
   Yes! Don't worry, the nature of AA is that it is unpredictable. This could include change in size of bald spots, change in location of bald spots and so on. Unless there are other symptoms that are worrying you in that region- I'd say you are just fine!
9. I have AU and sometimes get red bumps on my skin in all sorts of places. How do I know if they are pimples or something else?
   Just like friend #7, you have a tricky (but worry-free) situation. It is hard to tell the difference between a minor irritation, a pimple, an ingrown hair and so on. Be careful what products you use on the area- but never try to "pop" the bumps on your head, as if they are pimples. You can get infections this way or cause worse irritations. Assume it is just a minor irritation and wait for it to take its course. If it spreads, is painful, grows or worsens in any way, make an appointment with a dermatologist.
10. Everyone thinks I have cancer. People pay for my coffee all the time. Do I accept the gifts or tell them I don't have cancer? (From a woman with Alopecia Totalis)
    I get this question all the time, so you aren't alone! This is another case of, do what makes you most comfortable. I've had this happen to me plenty of times, and it never gets more comfortable to approach. I do believe honesty is the best way to handle it because it  gives you a chance to educate one more person- BUT, if you have two kids with you tugging at your pant legs and tearing down store shelves and you urgently need to vacate the premises, by ALL means... let them think what they want!
    
    
    I hope this answers the questions you sent in! Thank you (so much) for you candor and honesty! Feel free to send me a message with your questions and I will answer them all anonymously in another post! Be sure to follow my twitter updates @MissDelaware10 and join the Facebook group, Kayla's Corner for Women & Kids with Hair Loss for great conversation and support! Looking for more information on your hair loss questions? Visit hairloss.com!