Monday, August 6, 2012

Back to School

As much as I don't want to say it... the summer is almost over, and school is nearly back in session.


I received an email and related posts on the Facebook group asking for tips for teens heading back to school with changes in their hair loss. Some are heading back with less hair, some with more hair! And as a teenager, it can be overwhelming to anticipate the reactions of your classmates with any kind of change- especially one that sparks sensitivity.

I've always worked under the belief that full disclosure gets you further when it comes to your hair loss. Typically people are more understanding and empathetic when they are given a full introduction to change. Let's be honest... teens are nosey. They want to know what is going on with everyone. So, you can choose to either put it all out there, so there is nothing left for them to question and rumor-spread. Or, you can let them assume what they want and not let their whispers bother you.

You need to question yourself and ponder what approach you feel most comfortable taking.

I know I have friends out there heading back to school with a brand new wig! How exciting!!! Change is always fun, and hopefully your new hair is helping you to feel all the more feminine, confident and beautiful! Let's be real with each other- if you've been attending the same school for eight years and spent the last four bald, some people are going to notice that you now have long blonde hair. But, that isn't such a bad thing! You might want to let your peers assume your hair grew back, a move on with your life without publicly acknowledging your Alopecia. That is totally fine!

Don't forget that plenty of your peers are going to come back to school looking and acting differently! Some will have new clothes, new hair styles, new friends, new relationships and beyond.

So let's consider your other options! You might want to open up to your classmates, and clue them in on the change so that there isn't an elephant in the room for the rest of the year. If that's the case- how do you approach it? When do you tell them? And how on earth do you drop a huge bomb like that on people you haven't seen all summer??? Don't worry!!! That's why we all have each other- so we can share what has and hasn't worked for us. I can share my own stories, and make suggestions, but ultimately the choice is yours! Talk it over with your biggest supporters- your friends and family. They know you best, and they are familiar with what works for you.

Should you choose the full disclosure route, I say there is no better time than the present to get the ball rolling. Don't build this "coming out" to be an earth shattering event- we've all had to do it. I remember when I told the Miss Delaware judges I was wearing a wig, or when I took my wig off at a high school graduation while I was speaking, or when I told a new employer about my hair loss. And here I am today, a champion of all that!

Why not share a fun email to your best friends pre-semester and show off your new look. Let them know what has changed, but also, what you've been up to all summer! Tell them you can't wait to see what this year has in store and that you are so thankful to have the greatest friends on the planet!

You could also wait until school starts and on the first day back share with your newest and/or closest friends what is going on. Basically, I would say, "So, a lot has changed since last year. I now have an autoimmune condition called Alopecia Areata/Totalis/Universalis. Basically it just means my hair falls out as if my body is allergic to it. Don't worry- it isn't contagious! And, thankfully, I have no other symptoms! So... what are you thinking?"

You could also introduce the wig, if you are now wearing one. "So much has changed since last year! Obviously, I have a new du! My hair started falling out in ____ and I decided to try something new!  I have Alopecia Areata/Totalis/Universalis which is an autoimmune condition that causes my hair to fall out. But, don't worry! It isn't contagious, and I am going to be just fine! So, what do you think?"

Next, you should decide if you would like your teacher to introduce your Alopecia to your classmates, or if you would prefer to take care of it on your own, OR let nature take its course. Again, talk with your parents and get a family-game-plan. Your teachers just want to help, and naturally, they are going to worry about you. I suggest you at least let your parents write a letter to your school nurse, and your teachers to let them know of the changes in your condition or introduce it to them. The more informed they are, the more helpful they can be for you!

If you have any specific questions, or would like some opinions on how to approach this- feel free to send me a direct Facebook message or post on the Kayla's Corner Facebook Group! We are all here to support each other and many of us have been in your shoes!

Tweet your questions or suggestions to @MissDelaware10! I can't wait to hear from you!