Women and Chemotherapy

“There are studies that show that for many women, losing their hair is worse than losing a breast. That's because you can conceal the loss of a breast, but hair loss is so obvious and apparent. ” -
Marisa Weiss M.D., Breastcancer.org president and founder, breast radiation oncologist, Philadelphia, PA

To mark the end of Cervical Cancer Awareness Month, I thought it would be the perfect time to feature a Q&A with a woman who has overcome her own battle with cancer. I know this blog often features stories or suggestions for those diagnosed with a form of Alopecia, so I wanted to create something for our friends who have lost their hair from another common cause- chemotherapy treatments.

Everyone knows that chemotherapy treatments are the most commonly known treatment for cancer, which aim to kill the cancerous cells that are rapidly spreading. Among the varied side effects of chemotherapy is hair loss, which some refer to as their "scarlet letter".

According to BreastCancer.Org,

Hair loss occurs because chemotherapy targets all rapidly dividing cells—healthy cells as well as cancer cells. Hair follicles, the structures in the skin filled with tiny blood vessels that make hair, are some of the fastest-growing cells in the body. If you're not in cancer treatment, your hair follicles divide every 23 to 72 hours.

But as the chemo does its work against cancer cells, it also destroys hair cells. Within a few weeks of starting chemo, you may lose some or all of your hair.
You may gradually notice the hair loss, or it can happen very quickly. Every person responds differently. Some people lose the hair on the top of their head only, while others may lose their eyelashes, eyebrows and other body hair as well. The bright side- your hair will grow back!

Although I have never personally undergone chemotherapy treatments, my grandmother did, as well as my best friend's mother. I decided that since I am no expert on the topic, I wanted to interview a woman who won her battle with cancer and was generous enough to open up with me about her journey.
Here is her story:

KM: If you don't mind, will you share how you were first diagnosed?
LK:  I was first diagnosed on July 5th, 2009. I was losing weight with other symptoms. I knew something was wrong; they told me I had Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.
KM: And what was your first reaction?
LK: When I was first diagnosed I was numb. The first thing I thought of was death. My grandmother had just died a few months before. I felt my world had stopped spinning. I couldn’t think, eat, breath or sleep. I was living a nightmare.
KM: When it comes to all that you have to deal with (treatments, doctor’s appointments, regular life, and so on) where does/did hair loss fall on the list of struggles/obstacles for you?
LK: I felt like it took away my beauty; like a piece of me had died. I didn’t want to face the public, my friends or my family.
KM: When you lost your hair, did you ever go around without a wig? If so, how did you feel when people would see you just as you were?
LK:  I would never go in public without a wig for a very long time. I thought people would think I was ugly and would stare at me.
KM: When you were first diagnosed, was losing your hair a fear that you had?
LK: Yes, it was one of my biggest fears. I tried to go as long as I could before I had to shave it.
KM: How did your hair fall out? Was it progressive, or all in one timeframe?
LK: The high doses of chemo made my hair thin and it just started falling out in clumps.
 KM: Now that your hair is growing back (Yay!!) has the texture or color changed?
LK: It came in alot darker and very thick.
KM: Did your hair loss impact your mental state while going through treatment?
LK: Yes, I was very depressed. I would even refuse to look into the mirror.
KM:  What helped you accept your diagnosis? What about your hair loss and any other symptoms?
LK: You. I saw your beautiful face and I thought, Wow. Finally I’m not alone. If she can do it and be a beauty queen, maybe I can too.
KM: If you could give advice to another woman overcoming cancer, what would it be?
LK: Your beauty is deep inside of you. Although you may think you are ugly, it gets better. Try on wigs and just have fun with it. You may find you are sexier than you ever realized.

I know that a diagnosis of cancer is terrifying- not to mention life-altering. The thought of having to lose a piece of your femininity, on top of it all, is not the cherry you would have picked to go on top. But, with the help of a great community (online, local, national), and a dose of positivity/faith you CAN get through this. Focus on your health- not your hair. Your hair can be the least of your worries. Keep checking back for helpful suggestions or referalls on how to cope with the loss of your hair and be proactive. Join the Facebook group Kayla Martell's Corner for Women and Kids with Hair Loss for more support, and (sometimes) fun discussion!
Have any tips for how you coped during chemotherapy or questions for others? Comment there, or Tweet me @MissDelaware10.

Special thanks to LK for being so open about her journey through chemotherapy treatments. YOU have helped others to know they aren't alone. It warms my heart to know that I have been able to help someone in any way, just like you have today. Many blessings for a continual recovery.

Job Interviews: Wear the wig or no?

If you are a blog follower or friend of mine, you already know that I do not wear my wig everyday. And, in a previous blog entry I mentioned that while in college, I attend the first day of every semester without my wig for a variety of reasons. As I prepare to enter the "real world" and ready myself for internship interviews, I had to take a moment to consider whether I should wear my hair in a job interview, or not.

There are pros and cons to both sides, of course. But, ultimately I suppose it rests on your own personal comfortability. For me, the decision is even more difficult because, depending on the day, I may show up to work with or without my hair. So, they should be prepared to see me either way! As a broadcasting-hopeful, I completely understand the necessity to remain constant with my appearance so as to be recognized day-to-day by my audience. But, until then, I have the freedom to choose my "look" based upon my mood, my outfit, the weather, and so on!

I don't think there is a perfect solution for a situation like this! So I am curious what YOU think. Have you chosen to attend job interviews with, or without your hair?

If you do wear your hair, do you tell the potential employer about your hair loss? Or, wait for the day when your hair is at the shop to come au natural and surprise them?

It is my belief that you should look and feel your most confident in any interview- and  if that includes a wig, a full face of makeup and a fabulous new suit- so be it! In my interview for the job of Miss America, and the job of Miss Delaware 2010, I opted to wear my wig. But, I did include in my pageant-resume that I have Alopecia Areata and spoke about my hair loss in the interviews. All other job interviews, I have gone sans-wig. But, I'm not sure what I will do in the future! Broadcasters have their "signature look" and should that include my wig, then it will be part of my interview attire.

Why don't you stop by our Facebook group, Kayla's Corner for Women and Kids with Hairloss, and join the conversation? Or Tweet me @MissDelaware10 to let me know what you think.

Eyebrow Raising

In my adult life, I don't often find myself complaining about my hair loss. But, I won't hesitate to share when I notice any loss of my eyebrows or eyelashes! Eyebrows really are the frame to your face, and without them, I usually feel a little incomplete- visually, that is!

I have tried all sorts of products, and I am certain that many of you have, too. There are temporary eyebrow tattoos, eyebrow pencils, powders, and even permanent eyebrow tattoos. Each offers something very different, with quite a different commitment. For those of us who have Alopecia Areata which has a tendency to come and go, nothing with any permanence would be worth the pain! But, for those with lifelong Alopecia Universalis- I can see why they would seriously consider it!

So here is my take on your different options:

• Permanent Eyebrow Tattoos- typically performed by a professional tattoo artist. Can be obtained at some salons, and many tattoo parlors.
  The upside- you will have eyebrows all day long, all night long! No worrying about applying when you wake up, or sweating them off while you workout. Plus- they last a long time! And, they can look very natural when done properly.
  The downside- The pain. The pain. The pain. No permanent tattoo is painless. Come on- it's a needle!
  Suggestions- Find an experienced artist who can show you photos of their eyebrow work. Once it is done, it's done! No undoing this procedure! At least without another investment. Also, be sure to meet with them to have a trial where they can paint or draw on your brows- so you know how they will look. When it comes to something on your face- I suggest that you not allow cost to be a deterrent. If you have found the artist you love and trust, but know there are cheaper artists out there- save up the money and wait until you are ready.
• Eyebrow Stickers or Temporary Tattoos- these can be applied each day, and removed when you wash your face. Can be ordered online.
  The downside- You can feel the stickers as you wear them. They don't often look as natural, either.
  The upside- Not a huge financial investment. Can be something you try once, and decide if you like them! Best for those with total eyebrow loss.
  Suggestions- Ask around. I cannot personally suggest a brand or type, because I have never found one that I like. Maybe some of my readers have? Leave a comment here or join the Facebook group, Kayla's Corner for Women and Kids with Hair loss and comment there!
• Eyebrow Pencils/Pens/Stencils- For anyone with total eyebrow loss, that is terrified to trust themselves with drawing on their own eyebrows- the stencils are a terrific option! They serve as a guide for you, so the shape can look professionally done.
  The downside- I find no downside with stencils, other than you may need to shop around to find the perfect shape for you. But pencils can be smeared or wiped off easily. Pens are less likely to smudge, but a little more intimidating to apply than the pencil.
  The upside- there are so many stencil shapes and pencil/pen colors available that you can find the perfect combo for you! If you are comfortable you can go sans-stencil and draw on your eyebrows solo. Plus, they provide flexibility if your eyebrows come and go, like mine.
  Suggestions- Shop around. Look for stencils online to get your best deals. Pencils are easy to come by in a multitude of colors. Be sure to keep your pencil sharpened for precision! My favorites include MAC and Makeup Forever. Go into the stores to have a professional make a color suggestion.
• Eyebrow Powders- Great choice for those who have eyebrows that come and go, or still have some existing eyebrows- like me!
  The downside- They don't stay on your skin very long. They can fade by nightime. Also, the lines are less precise than a pencil (which can be a good or bad thing depending on your preference).
  The upside- They are the easiest to apply! Great for beginngers, or people like me who have some existing eyebrows! No need for a stencil.
  Suggestions- Same as the pencils, basically. Shop around to find the best color for you. MAC colors are my favorite because of their high pigment quality. The higher the pigment, the less you use, the longer the kit will last. Worried about the color? Go into the stores to have a professional make a suggestion. Last- find the right brush for you, the brush is the second most important part!

I decided to call on two friends of mine, who are professionals in the makeup industry, to make a few suggestions.

Tiffani Mitchell of NARS Cosmetics says her top suggestion is the Anastasia Brow Kit. "It comes with stencils, powder and a brush to make sure you are getting the right shape. Incorporate either the Anastasia Brow Wiz Pencil or the MAC Twist Up Pencil to mimic actual hairs," she says.  When asked what powders she suggests, she was beyond  helpful, by suggesting powders specific for each hair color! Make your choice based on the color of your wig that day, or if you go sans-wig, you can play around with your natural born shade! 

According to Tiffani, these are the best powders for your hair color:

-Light Blonde: MAC "Cork"
-Medium Blonde/Light Brunette: NARS "Blondie"

-Brunette: NARS "Bali"
-Dark Brown/Black: NARS "Coconut Grove"

When it comes to applying powders, brush choice is everything. Tiffani suggests MAC Brushes 208 (this is what I use!) or 266 for the most precision.

Josh Collier, a Trainer for Hourglass Cosmetics and Smashbox, AND makeup guru/v-logger, says his top pick is Smashbox's Brow Tech Trio. "Not only does it come in 5 different shades, but each shade contains two separate colors. So you can get a more natural effect, since hair has highs and lows through it naturally. Also, half of the pan is a wax, it will groom any existing hairs into place and also create a tacky base for the powder to adhere so it will last longer on the skin," Josh said. I can't wait to try this!

So, what is your preference?

Check out the products linked in words above and below, and let me know what you think! I am a pencil and powder girl, all the way. But I am curious what you have tried or are hoping to try!

Eazy Brow- Recommended by NAAF- 10% of proceeds go to the National Alopecia Areata Foundation

Beauti-Full-Brows- Recommended by NAAF as another Alopecia supporter!

Be sure to join the conversation on the Facebook Group, "Kayla's Corner for Women and Kids with Hairloss" to share your thoughts! Questions for the Pros? Leave them there, and I will forward to Josh and Tiffani!

 

 

This one is for the mother's

Hello friends!


I have been moved to, yet again, veer away from the planned topics after receiving a new message this weekend. A mother of the most adorable little girl sent me a message which conclusively brought me to tears. Knowing that I have become a woman that a mother would love for her daughter to look up to, truly warms my heart. Ultimately, her message proposed a question, asking for advice on what she can do as the mother of a girl with Alopecia.


Instantly, I thought of calling my mother- which I still do about ten times a day. But, instead I decided to respond from my heart and reflect on my mother's role in the outcome of my journey thus far with hair loss.


As a child, my mother and I would have weekly mother-daughter-date-nights on Sunday evening. Sunday mornings we would go to church as a family, visit my great-grandmother in the afternoon (after she passed we had Nutcracker practice or 4-H meetings, depending on the season) and then we would drop my dad off at home and go have a weekly girls night. We would go to dinner and talk about whatever was going on, and then go see a chick-flick that night. Even during my strange phases as an early teenager, when I drove my mother crazy, and swore she was driving me equally as crazy- we still made this a weekly occurrence.


In sixth grade, when I was first losing my hair, my mother took an approach which shaped the woman I have become. She decided to take me to every doctor she could find, stay up until 5am reading articles about Alopecia and even went out and purchased me the best wig she could find in our area. But, she never made me do or wear anything; she was never forceful. She allowed me (my confidence, my comfort level) to be her guide, and although I was young, she supported whatever I decided.


At first, my mother wanted to come into my classroom and explain Alopecia Areata to my peers. She wanted to be sure that I wasn't being teased at school and felt that if my classmates understood my condition, they would be less likely to make fun of me. When she spoke to me about doing this, I asked her not to see it through. I told her I would feel more comfortable explaining it to my classmates on my own, than having my parents come in to do it for me. She supported my decision even though I'm sure it wasn't easy for her, and trusted that if it didn't go the way I planned it, we could always take another approach later.


Then, I gave a presentation to my class as a part of a science project. We were asked to research a disorder and give a presentation about it. So, I gave my presentation on Alopecia calling it, "Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow." My classmates were all so supportive, and even though I am sure some kids may have said things under their breath, I never felt ostracized.


Time passed and even though my mom purchased wigs for me to try on, she let me just be me! I tried them on and never felt comfortable. So, we threw them in the bottomless pit I called my closet, and went on with our lives!


When I school-choiced/transferred to a new school district for high school, my mother asked, once again, if I wanted to try wearing a wig. I told her that I was worried people would know it was a wig, or God-forbid, it fall off in class... So she supported my decision and I went throughout high school just as I was at the time.


As I grew older and began my journey toward fulfilling my dream of becoming Miss Delaware, I hit a road block. I competed three years in the Miss Delaware Pageant without wearing a wig with some success, always placing as a finalist. But on my third try, a judge approached me after the coronation of one of my dearest friends, to share with me why he felt I didn't win. Ultimately he told me that if I wanted to become Miss Delaware, I should strongly consider wearing a wig. He introduced many valid points in the few moments we spoke- not the least of which was that I could not literally wear the crown on my head without any hair to pin it to.


Naturally, my mother wanted to (insert not-so-kind verb here) him. She was not happy that he had the audacity to make me feel as if I wasn't beautiful just as I am.


I'll admit, I was beyond hurt and offended, and I became a lesser version of myself that summer after the pageant. I made some big, life-changing decisions after that night and was unsure of what to do. I spoke in great deal to my then-boyfriend/current-fiance', my best friends and of course, my parents. Everyone shared the same thing- that they would support me no matter what I decided- whether I wanted to compete again without hair, with a wig, or not compete at all. I prayed about it, slept on it, flipped a couple coins and asked for (way) too much advice!


I let my parents know that I first wanted to try series of cortisone injections that year to hopefully stimulate hair growth. But, the pain was too much for me to bear. My mother and Kevin were by my side at all times, letting me know that if I wanted to run out of the appointment, they would ready the getaway car!


After a very serious conversation with my former Miss Delaware roommate, fond friend, and pageant mentor, Laura Mattey about how I was feeling, she asked me how I would feel about just going to meet with her hair stylist, Mario Rispoli and just try on one wig. She promised me lunch and assured me that she would be by my side the entire time, and that I would never feel pressured to make any decision or purchase that day. I conceded easily and off we went to Salon Rispoli.


My mother could have told me not to go. She could have repeated over and over that I was gorgeous just as I am. But she knew that I already thought I was beautiful. But, I wanted to consider a change. And she trusted me.
The moment I met Mario, I knew I was in good hands. He made me, and my family, feel completely comfortable without any pressure! I asked my mom what she thought, and for a woman whom normally has quite a strong opinion- she just reassured me that it was my decision. She told me to pray about it, think about it, whatever I needed to do- but that it was my decision. We went through the pros and cons- made a couple lists on napkins- you understand. :)


Ultimately, I did decide to wear a wig. I had no idea how we were going to afford it, but with the love and support of family and friends, we made it happen! It was quite a communal effort! And my mother was so thrilled to be a part of the process.


The moral to my story is that, I don't think there is any secret to raising a successful/happy/healthy child. And when life throws you curve balls, like hair loss, you just have to roll with the punches! But, whatever my mom did was perfect for me. She never allowed me to second guess myself, or think I wasn't beautiful. That just wasn't allowed. She was constantly by my side to support me and love me. She let me be the leader when it came to my hair loss, allowing me to be her guide with how to move forward. She kept me active in countless activities at all times, so as to always nurture the things I was good at and enjoyed- even if I was just no good at growing hair! :) Who has time to worry about hair when you are busy with 4-H meetings, ballet/tap/jazz rehearsals, flute lessons, Odyssey of the Mind, and lots of volunteering?


If your child is losing his or her hair, I hope you have taken the time to sit down and have a real conversation about it with them. See how it is affecting them. If they don't want you to come into their classroom, then I suggest finding another way to educate their peers on the condition. If they don't want to go to school without their wig, then support them. If, after ten years of losing their hair, they decide they want to wear a wig- trust in them, and support them. Just be sure they know all of their options, and fully understand their condition- whether it is cancer, Alopecia Universalis, etc. They deserve your honesty, just as much as you deserve theirs. And continue to love them with your whole heart, as my mom has with me- but you already know that! Remember, their way of dealing with it, may not be the same approach you would take- but as long as they find happiness in their own way, I say, accept it!

Please feel free to share or leave comments or stories of your experiences! We are all here to support each other, because we can all go through this together!


P.S. I love you, Mom! :)

Welcome to 2012!

Happy 2012 everyone! I hope you had a safe and joyous holiday season. Kevin and I stayed home for new years eve and made a yummy dinner with lobster and steak. Christmas, of course, flew by way too fast! But, it was nice to be home for a few days.

Now that we have entered a new year, I imagine the resolutions for the new you have already ensued. With my wedding just four and a half months away, my resolution is to get back into my "Miss America Shape", or atleast rebuild a healthy routine for a healthier me!

As I begin to pour out the leftover sodas in my fridge, and buy fewer pints of ice cream ;), I couldn't help but wonder if this small life-change would have an affect on my hair. So, I did a little research and came across this:

Losing your locks? These foods can help

Although, this video may provide tips for strengthening existing hair, I have found that when my hair follicles are stronger and healthier, my hair falls out less.
*Remember, if you are losing your hair as a result of chemotherapy, or were born with Alopecia Universalis/Totalis- these tips are unlikely to work. But, of course, being conscious of your food intake never hurt anyone!

Here is a list of 10 Foods That Promote Hair Growth based on my own readings:

1. Almonds- a great source of protein and will help lower cholesterol!
If you aren't a fan- try them with an M&M, or dried fruit, and create a yummy snack mix!

2. Beef/Poultry- depending which you choose- can provide protein, Iron, Zinc and Vitamin B, which all help with hair growth.
If you are hoping for a slimmer/healthier you this year, these lean meats will  give you great energy and fill you up faster than other meal options!

3. Soy Beans- Contain Iron and Vitamin B6, "Iron is an essential part of the blood production which is import to get oxygen to the scalp and the proper nutrients to promote hair growth. Soy beans also contain Vitamin E which helps to suck in oxygen and improves blood circulation to hair"
Most soy products will give you the same results (ie soy milk, soy nuts, soy crackers, etc.). Try incorporating Edamame as a veggie for a weeknight meal- super easy, and super quick to make!

4. Whole Grains- if you are watching your figure, whole grains are a great choice! Plus, they are another source of Iron.
I switched to whole grain bread a few years ago and haven't looked back! Even whole grain waffles are yummy!

5. Oats- Another reliable source for Iron, while also providing Phosphorus, Potassium and magnesium.
No one said they can't be oatmeal cookies! Or try Steel Cut Oats for breakfast and stay full all morning long!

6. Cow's Milk- Offers Iodine (not to mention protein and Calcium)
Good for the bones. Good for the hair. Good for the waistline. Enough said.

7. Citrus (such as oranges and grapefruits)- Offers Vitamin C which helps with the creation of collagen
This time of year I always get sick! Citrus fruit may not be in season, but it is the healthy treat for the season!

8. Fish- Providing essential fatty acids (especially Salmon!)
Not a huge fan of fish... but, few foods are better for your hair. Try Baked Salmon with a sweet sauce, or Rock Fish for a lesser-fishy-flavor, and still good results!

9. Chickpeas (or other beans/legumes)- Offers Vitamin B6 and Zinc and in some cases, protein!
Try hummus for a midday snack or bean soup to warm up this winter. Lima beans are my local favorite!

10. Dark Green Vegetables- provides Vitamin A and Vitamin C
Kale and spinach are great! Try not to overcook them, or you will sacrifice some of the nutrients. Try packing spinach salads for lunch!

Do you have any other foods to add to the list?

I hope this helps you take a small step toward a new you, for the new year! Maybe we can all try this together!

Leave a comment here or on the Facebook Group, "Kayla's Corner for Women & Children with Hair Loss" with your new years resolution!